worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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