You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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