I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
