So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
