i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
