I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
