Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
