Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
