Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
