I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We left the knife in your bed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
