i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
