idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
