drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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