Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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