well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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