Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
