Welp...herpes.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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