I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
