Where are you?
In a non slutty way
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and she was petting her beer can
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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