READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
