the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
