You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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