i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
