By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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