My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He better not be in your backpack
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
