you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
