It's Friday. Sex?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Couch. On fire.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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