Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
