yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
