Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
