Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
