Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
