This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
