i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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