I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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