I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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