Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
