She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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