one two three fourrrrnication!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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