Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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