the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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