Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
