I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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