When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
