Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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