im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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