This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
