capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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