Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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