I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
