well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
