I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There's always time for handjobs
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
