I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
